Change

The only thing we can ever be sure of is change. Time marches on and waits for no one. It seems, as soon as I begin to feel contented and happy with the way my life is going, the trials descend like locusts and the battle in my soul begins again. I know the testing of ones faith produces perseverance and patience and wisdom, but it is also painful. To be continually on the potters wheel being pounded and molded into what He wants me to be,can be exhausting at times. But that is the way of things and I must embrace it with all my heart, pain and all. If I want to grow nearer to God then I must expect hardship. After all Christ himself suffered unimaginable pain on my behalf, even unto death. The least I can do is suffer the loss of my own selfish wants. So I must empty myself of myself. Broken and weak I surrender all my hopes and dreams to my Lord.

"The mind needs more, and it wanders, and when it wanders here, among farmers poor in the things of the world, they worry because, they say, if you think you will become sad, for life is short and death is long, and if sadness grips you it will drag you towards despair, a state in which you are of no use to your neighbor or yourself, in which you forget Gods special love for you."
(Irish Folktales, Henry Glassie)

The Blank Page

There's nothing quite so frightening as an empty page. It's blank,vacant expanse looming up before you begging to be filled. Yet, your mind feels only engulfed by the nothingness. Even your day dreams seem to have fled. What do you do? You scribble something in a vain attempt to push through the emptiness. To no avail, your efforts are quickly consumed and drown in the blank page.
Then hardly realizing what your doing you begin to write. The block in your mind seems to have weakened. Words squeeze through the chinks and soon a steady flow goes trickling across the page. A new world has begun to take shape and you soon become as engulfed by it as you were by the emptiness. This time though, the thrill and excitement of life surges through your veins and you beam with pleasure at the beauty you have created.

Lead Me Lord

Gently Lord you lead me
At your feet I place my prayers
Your peace washes over me
As you calm my anxious heart

You save me Lord
By your most holy love
Strengthen these feeble hands (chorus)
To praise and glorify you

You have created me new
A shimmering star in this dark world
By your righteousness I gain holiness
I am reconciled unto you

Open up my heart Lord
I lay it humbly before you
Pour your strength over my weakness
And help me hold steadfast to you

Out of The Pit

I've sunk into the darkness
The endless despair pitted in my soul.
Where are you God as my thoughts consume me
Dragging me deeper still.

My own self pity swallows wisdom
Reality, truth blurs and becomes dim.
Next to the ceaseless longings of my heart
Dragging me deeper still.

Joy has hidden its face
I wallow in my own disgrace.
Pull me Lord from this sea of pain
That's dragging me deeper still.

And yet, a glimmer of hope remains
For the author of my soul
Still is calling gently
For me to surrender all.

Out of the darkness he created light
Out of the mire he chose to drag me.
In my brokenness he sang to me,
I must surrender all.

So cease your wailing and listen
His strength is found in our weakness.
True joy is waiting to greet us
if we will only surrender all.

Hello Again

So I thought I canceled my blog and I haven't written anything for a couple years. I need to start writting a lot more now, so hello again world. Hope you enjoy my thoughts.

Purity

Here's a picture of our core staff up at Shepard's Ranch in Whitmore (minus our fearless leaders of course; Martha and Jeff Boyle). I'm on the far right then comes Rebecca Roseberry, then Heather Boyle and the guy in the background who ruined our nice picture is Andru our dish-washer.
The summers going great so far and we're all becoming like one big happy family up there. Of course I still like playing the little mother and Andru, Becka and Heather have now become my children (poor them). The Boyle's new baby Kora is doing very well also and is one of the most beautiful baby girls I have ever seen. We do need prayer though, because little Katie Boyle has been our germ carrier and a few of our staff members have gotten quite sick. Some are on the mend now but the last thing we need is an epidemic.